Do we really know what we're doing?
I recently left a job that was weighing on me, to where my mental health was tested in so many ways. I felt stuck, unhappy, cried almost weekly, if not daily. I wasn't okay. I was fed up with the position, it was horrible and made me feel less than who I was.
When I made a decision to leave it was easy and tough at the same time. I had to have a conversation with myself to weigh the pros and cons.
Pros:
-I wouldn't have to come in every day, upset and angry at myself and mentally/emotionally checked out.
-It would be something for myself; something that would make me happy and free (even for the time being).
-Maybe my resignation would help the higher ups know (if they cared...which I doubt), that they had a great worker leave because the resources they claimed were available, weren't...and the request from those who wanted to stay with the company and "grow" were being ignored.
Cons:
-WHERE THE MONIES GON' COME FROM?!
-BENEFITS? POOF! POW! BE GONE!
-GIRL, YOU HAVE BILLS TO PAY! (Janita, you handled that at the beginning of the month.)
-WHAT'S NEXT?
-GIRL...this was the position to get you to where you were trying to go, right? How are you going to get there now?
Honestly, I don't know what got into me. I suffered in silence before, and took a lot of pain with me during my past jobs. I thought I could make it a year, but I was wrong.
I'm not really scared. When I typed up my resignation letter, it was like writing my freedom papers. I spoke to my supervisor many times before deciding this was it and enough was enough. He was supportive and understood completely.
I want to say that I don't think at least once a day, if I made a mistake. Did I really make the right decision? But, it's done. I did what I did; I have to accept it. I know God is pushing me in another direction. I pray it's one where I will be happy, not feel stuck or that my anxiety is heightened to panic attack levels, and be able to be creative and help someone who may have been in a place I once was.
I HAVE NO CLUE WHAT I'LL BE DOING.
I just know that, that wasn't it.
When I made a decision to leave it was easy and tough at the same time. I had to have a conversation with myself to weigh the pros and cons.
Pros:
-I wouldn't have to come in every day, upset and angry at myself and mentally/emotionally checked out.
-It would be something for myself; something that would make me happy and free (even for the time being).
-Maybe my resignation would help the higher ups know (if they cared...which I doubt), that they had a great worker leave because the resources they claimed were available, weren't...and the request from those who wanted to stay with the company and "grow" were being ignored.
Cons:
-WHERE THE MONIES GON' COME FROM?!
-BENEFITS? POOF! POW! BE GONE!
-GIRL, YOU HAVE BILLS TO PAY! (Janita, you handled that at the beginning of the month.)
-WHAT'S NEXT?
-GIRL...this was the position to get you to where you were trying to go, right? How are you going to get there now?
Honestly, I don't know what got into me. I suffered in silence before, and took a lot of pain with me during my past jobs. I thought I could make it a year, but I was wrong.
I'm not really scared. When I typed up my resignation letter, it was like writing my freedom papers. I spoke to my supervisor many times before deciding this was it and enough was enough. He was supportive and understood completely.
I want to say that I don't think at least once a day, if I made a mistake. Did I really make the right decision? But, it's done. I did what I did; I have to accept it. I know God is pushing me in another direction. I pray it's one where I will be happy, not feel stuck or that my anxiety is heightened to panic attack levels, and be able to be creative and help someone who may have been in a place I once was.
I HAVE NO CLUE WHAT I'LL BE DOING.
I just know that, that wasn't it.
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