Life thoughts 2013-A new beginning?
"Give up defining yourself - to yourself or to others. You won’t die. You will come to life. And don’t be concerned with how others define you. When they define you, they are limiting themselves, so it’s their problem. Whenever you interact with people, don’t be there primarily as a function or a role, but as the field of conscious presence. You can only lose something that you have, but you cannot lose something that you are." -Eckhart Tolle
I think I needed to hear this. There have been countless times in my life where I have always tried to define what I am to myself and those around me. Countless times; although I can honestly remember a few embarrassing times currently.
I always found myself thinking if I was this friend for this person and more outgoing for these people, and knew about these things...that I would be the best person for everyone (myself included).
It's scary to think that I've plucked certain things I loved about other people and along with what I already was, formed my "self" and how I'd like to be thought of by others.
There came a time in my life where I had to remember me-and to whatever reason I still forget. I get caught up in caring for others so much and giving my all (thoughts, emotions, time) that I don't get to be selfish. I thought I didn't have the right to.
I still think that.
With how much I've seen my mother struggle, my grandma struggle, seen so much loss and pain, how dare I think I should think of myself when I should be supporting my family and friends to help ease some pain. Be someone less they have to worry about all the time.
Be someone that becomes successful. Be someone that doesn't have to be worried about...isn't that sad?
I've been stressing out about the future and it really is wearing me down. I don't want to keep repeating myself to others (basically complaining). Why should they have to get annoyed with how frustrated I am becoming? Why should I let it really bother them.
I should come up with a plan of action. A plan of getting my shit together.
I haven't used this blog in I don't know how long and I've always regretted it; but this summer I feel like I will get great use of it.
I think I needed to hear this. There have been countless times in my life where I have always tried to define what I am to myself and those around me. Countless times; although I can honestly remember a few embarrassing times currently.
I always found myself thinking if I was this friend for this person and more outgoing for these people, and knew about these things...that I would be the best person for everyone (myself included).
It's scary to think that I've plucked certain things I loved about other people and along with what I already was, formed my "self" and how I'd like to be thought of by others.
There came a time in my life where I had to remember me-and to whatever reason I still forget. I get caught up in caring for others so much and giving my all (thoughts, emotions, time) that I don't get to be selfish. I thought I didn't have the right to.
I still think that.
With how much I've seen my mother struggle, my grandma struggle, seen so much loss and pain, how dare I think I should think of myself when I should be supporting my family and friends to help ease some pain. Be someone less they have to worry about all the time.
Be someone that becomes successful. Be someone that doesn't have to be worried about...isn't that sad?
I've been stressing out about the future and it really is wearing me down. I don't want to keep repeating myself to others (basically complaining). Why should they have to get annoyed with how frustrated I am becoming? Why should I let it really bother them.
I should come up with a plan of action. A plan of getting my shit together.
I haven't used this blog in I don't know how long and I've always regretted it; but this summer I feel like I will get great use of it.
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